Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
