I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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