yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Success! We fucked roommates!
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