Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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