His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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