OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
