Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
