i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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