i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
