Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need a beard to bite.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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