i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
