a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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