there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
