Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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