hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
