You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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