You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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