just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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