In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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