I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
