I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
