honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
