So drunk its hurt
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
