Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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