he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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