There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
