My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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