can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
