In the future we'll all be gay
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
