Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize