is your mom at the bar?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
