I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
