HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
