matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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