i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
