Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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