fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
