How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
