Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
