They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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