Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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