I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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