and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
