Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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