It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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