I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
