He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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