I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
