Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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