no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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