My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
