Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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