She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
