Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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