worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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