I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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