He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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