Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
