oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
