I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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