drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You're like the curious george of whores
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
