Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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